book review: Hungry Monkey by Matthew Amster-Burton

For the record, I did not read Hungry Monkey: A Food-Loving Father’s Quest to Raise an Adventurous Eater by Matthew Amster-Burton just because Anthony Bourdain recommends it on the cover. I usually don’t even pay attention to cover blurbs, but should I ever write a food-related book, I do hope that Tony will at least read and like it. Granted, his over the top anti-vegetarian stance does get a little old, but I’ll forgive him this time (or, you know, millions of times).

Anyway, to the book in question. Amster-Burton, a food writer based in Seattle, tries to adopt that Bourdainian attitude now and then with snarky comments about locavores, eco this and that, organic food, and, yes, vegetarians… but he isn’t as successful with it. I think this is because he’s a nice person, and nice people just don’t do snarky very well. Fortunately, the majority of the book is about his cooking and eating adventures with his daughter, Iris. And the word “quest” in the subtitle is no mistake. This isn’t a how-to guide, though there are recipes at the end of each chapter. It is a funny book, but this is really a love letter – to food and to Iris. I love that.

Recently, after reaching the limits of the “one more drink of water” ploy for extending bedtime, Irit hit upon the cake hug. “I’m fixing you up a hug,” Iris told me. “It’s a cake hug. I’m putting in the flour and sugar and, uh, what else?” “Butter?” I offered. “Butter.” “Baking powder? Milk? Eggs?” Done. “Mixing it up. Bake bake bake. Ding! It’s ready. Now I’m putting on the whipped cream frosting and raspberry swirl.” Finally she toppled me over with a hug. “You didn’t eat the cake!” said Iris. “It’s on your left side.”

Something else I love about this book is that Amster-Burton doesn’t whine or adopt a know-it-all tone. This is refreshing. So many of the books I read by parents about parenting or kids are written by someone telling me I must do something a certain way or else, or a parent who is complaining about something (moms complaining about their partners, fathers complaining about their kids, etc.). This book, on the other hand, is by a guy who’s just a stay-at-home dad who loves his wife and his daughter and his food. There’s no pretense and, above all, no chauvinism. Consider this:

I don’t want to make too much of it… but there are issues associated with being a female cook that I will never have to worry about. Men hardly ever feel like they’re trapped in the kitchen turning out dinner for an ungrateful family, and they never worry about whether they will be considered bad feminists if they love to cook. I’m simultaneously grateful that I don’t have to worry about these things and depressed that anyone has to.

And in case you were wondering about that hyphenated name, it seems that Amster is the last name he was born with. I haven’t looked into this, but I’m guessing he and his wife combined their last names. Stefano would die and then roll over in his grave before going that route (not that I’m not proposing Kinbar-Grace, anyway). But the book isn’t really about all that. I just picked up on that bit and liked it. A parent without a bone to pick (pun intended) in their book is rare. Too rare.

If you’re a parent and a foodie, I have no doubt you’ll enjoy this read. If you happen to be interested in feminist/non-chauvinist parenting, or at least involved fatherhood, you’ll like it all the more.  And I’ll venture to say that if you’re a parent and a foodie in Seattle, this is an essential read. Seattle was just as important a character as Matthew or Iris in this story. So glad I read this one.

Many thanks to Pille of the fabulous Name-Nami blog for lending me this book. I think K will like it. And sorry for keeping it for so long!

first words

Stefano and Massimo buying macaroons in Paris.

Aside from Mo’s early utterances of “dada” and “aitäh” and “ema” it wasn’t until the beginning of September that words began to pour out of him. The first, clear word that he used regularly and properly was water. He pronounced it “waloo” but now it sounds more like “waller.” His second clear word was cheese. And then…

mama

shoes

cracker (which is what he says when he wants a rice cake)

hello

ola (we were just in Spain)

up

bye-bye

banana

bread

book

kaka (which means “poo”)

car

ball

pool

beach

help

apple

food

olive

Yup, most of his words are food-related.

an american boy in paris

I didn’t have time to post before the trip (I had a 60+ hour work week last week!), but we’re in Paris now, before heading to Malaga for a week and Barcelona for a few days at the end of the two weeks. I’ll be adding a few photos to flickr each day, though the full album won’t be complete until we return. See here for a few pics of Mo’s first day in Paris.

new photos of the boy

It’s been over two months since our last post, but it’s summer so we’re busy having fun and enjoying the fleeting nice weather here in Estonia. It’s an especially fun summer because (a) Massimo has just entered toddlerhood and (b) Stefano is home with us for a few months! I have been spending quite a bit of time working this month. While I’d like to be joining Stefano and Massimo at the beach (where they go several times a week), it’s been over a year since I’ve had real, undisturbed time to work. Also, we’ll be traveling a bit over the next few months, so I need to get work done while I still can…

ANYWAY, all this is to say we will hopefully have some posts up about Mo’s recent developments and activities and adventures, but here are some new photos to enjoy in the meantime: Massimo in May, Massimo in June, Massimo in July.

10 things that frustrate us about Massimo (at 12 months)

Though parenthood is pretty great, it ain’t all bliss. To be fair…

Rachel’s list:

1. How difficult it often is to get him to sleep. Sometimes an hour or more or just waiting for him to wear himself out rolling around the bed.
2. He insists on sticking his hands into the glass of water after taking a drink.
3. He screams if we take something away from him or don’t let him have what he wants.
4. He pulls my hair and completely ignores my “no.” In other cases of “no” he stops and starts to cry.
5. Sitting on the potty isn’t as fun as standing up from the potty.
6. He tears my glasses off. All The Time.
7. It’s impossible to take the photos I want because he wants to hold the camera.
8. Talking on the phone is nearly impossible while I’m holding him. He MUST have the phone.
9. He wants to help empty the dishwasher. Starting with the forks. That, or he simply wants to get into the dishwasher (which he has done).
10. If he doesn’t want to be held, he puts his arms straight up and goes limp while kicking his legs. Fun. Especially in the grocery store.

Stefano’s list:

1. Not getting enough time with him (i.e., getting home just before his bedtime during the week).
2. His new found love of pulling out my chest hairs in clumps (yes, it hurts and he thinks it’s hilarious).
3. The fact that he has my temper, and lacks the ability to control it.
4. His fascination with and gravitation towards electronics that he cannot have, including my iPhone.
5. Not knowing what is wrong when he wakes up crying at night for no apparent reason.
6. Trying to get him to bed when he is excited or in a refusing mood.
7. Knowing that I should not get mad at him, yet feeling my own temper heating up at times.
8. When he stubbornly throws or drops stuff (incl. behind the couch) when he knows you are asking him not to (and then laughs about it).
9. When he gets excited and leaves his potty too soon, making a mess on the floor.
10. Seeing him get hurt!

Photos of Massimo’s 12th month can be found over at flickr. Though admittedly I haven’t added them all yet.

10 things we love about Massimo (at 12 months)

Okay, so Massimo turns 13 months in two days, but at least we wrote this up at 12 months. I saw something similar over at blue milk and thought it was a grand idea. Granted, Stefano and I have different interpretations of the exercise, but that’s okay. You get the point.

Rachel’s list:

1. The way he cuddles with Saki. He’s been doing it for months, but now it’s a whole production.
2. The way he tears up tissues and puts the little bits in his mouth, but then spits them out if I ask/tell him to.
3. The climbing. He’s not able to walk yet, but he’d climb up a wall if he could.
4. The one-armed, almost one-legged crawl he does when carrying something from point A to point B.
5. He eats with such gusto (breastfeeding and solids).
6. How he calls “em em” when he wants me at night.
7. He stands next to the bathtub and peers into it as it’s filling up. Sometimes he’s so excited he starts throwing stuff into the water (socks, his potty, etc.).
8. He tries to comb his own hair, but always holds the comb upside down. Similarly, he holds the phone to his ear, but backwards (receiver facing out).
9. He gets over-the-top excited when Stefano gets home from work. So sweet.
10. He has a new coy look that he gives to strangers. It’s the closest to shyness that he’s gotten.

Stefano’s list:

1. His jaw dropping smile (exposing his bottom teeth)!
2. Noticing and witnessing as he learns new things (like cruising and climbing), and being there to teach him things.
3. The expression on his face and the warm welcome he greets me with when I arrive home.
4. Spending time with him!
5. The way he cuddles with me when he gets tired or when he is being shy.
6. The way he falls asleep in my arms.
7. The way he gets so excited when we pass other children and dogs, cats, birds, ducks and other small animals.
8. The ability to spoil him, in a good way.
9. The way he eats like a big boy already now.
10. His beautiful big blue eyes.

We’re undecided how often we’ll do this (every month? every other month? four times a year?), but we’ll definitely be doing it again. Rarely do we take time to reflect on these things, so it’s a great opportunity for us as parents (and perhaps something fun for Massimo to look back on some day).

ONE YEAR!

Can you believe it’s already been a year? That’s right, Massimo turned 12 months old last month (on the 14th of May). This year has been the fastest, most fun, most satisfying, and possibly most confusing year of our lives (so far). Mo was a complete person at birth, but it’s been so neat to see how he’s developed and grown and to see the person he’s becoming. He remains extremely happy, but he’s got quite a temper too. He’s a social boy who loves hanging out with lots of people, but he has started to show a hint of shyness around strangers. Not shyness, really, but he definitely acknowledges strangers in a specific way (with a bit of a coy look). It doesn’t take too much for them to get a smile out of him, though.

He’s very curious, as I suppose most children are. He doesn’t just want to pull everything out of the cabinets, but spends a long time studying each object and figuring out how it works. He loves things with multiple parts and buttons. He’s crazy about electronics, so the tv, phones, cameras, dishwasher, washing machine are all of great interest to him. He’s a master at finding new ways to play with old and familiar toys. And he loves socks.

Though at 12 months and one week he still was not walking on his own (but he was walking very well when holding just one hand), he now takes 8-10 steps at a time and does this often throughout the day. He’s a pro at crawling. He crawls faster than most people walk. The only difficulty is carrying stuff around. He’ll either carry it in his mouth, or he’ll hold it and do a one-armed crawl. It’s really impressive, actually. And even though he can’t walk, he LOVES to climb. This morning I turned around and found him sitting on a chair! He had used Stefano’s briefcase as a stool. Fortunately his legs are still short enough that he isn’t able to climb much, but he tries climbing our headboard (we won’t let him), from the sofa onto the windowsills, and he wishes he could climb into the tub. We’re very glad he’s not able to do the latter, but he will stand outside the tub while it’s filling up for his bath time. He stands there and throws stuff in. A few days ago, I walked in and found his potty, a pair of socks, and a pen floating in the tub.

Mo is still breastfeeding and we have no plans to stop, though his feeding pattern has definitely changed. He LOVES food. An example of a lunch he had recently is cheese ravioli with a home-made pasta sauce (plus carrots and zucchini with yogurt and bread) for lunch.  Spinach quiche is also popular. Today he had beets, kiwi, cottage cheese, and a cream of cauliflower and potato soup with truffle oil. Since he started feeding himself at six months, he’s really a pro now. He eats what we eat, minus all the salt, sugar, and meat. He mostly eats with his hands right off of his high chair tray, but he also eats off of real plates with real cutlery. He eats his morning cereal out of a glass bowl with his silver spoon from Tiffany’s. The only thing that’s a “problem” is that he always spills his water if it’s in a regular cup. It’s not that he isn’t able to hold it properly, it’s that he likes spilling it. This morning he was in the bedroom and pulled my glass of water from the nightstand. I walked into the room and heard slurping. When I walked around the edge of the bed, there he was sitting in a puddle of water drinking what was left in the glass.

Of course parenting Massimo isn’t ALL fun. It often takes over an hour to get him to sleep at bedtime and naptime, and he often won’t accept anyone at night except his mama (this is a fairly new development). Massimo can sometimes be aggressive with other babies and with us, and teaching him to be gentle, well… it hasn’t worked so far. He also likes to wake us up every morning by yanking my hair or pulling Stefano’s nose. And we still have that cliche struggle of finding balance between work and family. For Stefano, his long hours sometimes cause him to miss Mo’s bedtime. For me, as Mo’s primary caretaker, I don’t have enough hours for my work. And “me time” doesn’t exist, for either of Mo’s parents…

In Mo’s first year, he traveled to Stockholm (twice), Brussels, plus the U.S. (Texas, Florida, Virginia, Maryland, and New York). In this coming year, we’re hoping to make it to Spain, Finland, Germany, and England (and the U.S. again). Traveling with a baby has it’s challenges, but the memories we have are worth it all.

There’s so much more to say about Massimo turning a year old, but suffice it to say that we’re proud, amazed, and looking forward to this coming year. When we took Mo out for his birthday dinner (at Bocca), Stefano toasted us by saying, “Happy birthday, Massimo! We survived the first year!” To which I responded, “Survived? I think we thrived.”

All of Massimo’s birthday photos can be found on flickr.

8, 9, 10, 11 months!

If you recall, Massimo turned seven months in Austin, Texas. And he turned eight months in Key West. We had a blast with friends there for about a week, and Massimo’s eight month birthday made it that much more special.

For months nine through eleven, we were back home in Tallinn, but his eleven month birthday was in our new apartment! You can see the sofa is different, and our flash was out of batteries so we didn’t get many photos. Plus, as usual, Mo would not sit still! He started crawling well around nine months, standing with furniture and semi-cruising at ten months, and standing and squatting in the middle of the room with lots of furniture cruising at eleven months. The standing thing is now constant, and he’s walking better each day. We can tell he’s thinking about taking steps, which is new. We were beginning to wonder if he was going to be content with just crawling for the rest of his life. His new crawling thing is holding something in one hand and crawling using only one hand along with doing something crab-like with one leg. It’s quite entertaining, but I can’t find the video camera anywhere. Hopefully it’s not gone for good (though I wouldn’t completely mind getting the Flip HD).

Massimo’s language development has amazed us. He’s still not saying much more than dada and aitäh (thank you in Estonian) and emem (similar to mother in Estonian, but we never say ema, so I think he’s just indicating that he’s hungry or likes what he’s eating. And goygoy is still very popular and he always says that with a smile and a little giggle. But what amazes us is how much he understands. He understands “Where is…?” questions, as long as he knows the final word. The words he clearly knows (among others) are phone, Saki (his lovey), paci or pacifier, London Bear (a teddy bear Stefano bought in London), Opa (we have a photo of his grandfather in our bedroom), and banana. He also understands phrases like “backwards” and “behind you.” But maybe I should be saving these things for his 12 month birthday…

The Blogging Resumes!

It’s been much too long since we last posted, but fear not for all is well! Massimo and I spent the month of December in Austin, Texas with his Oma, Opa, Uncle Jesse, Aunt Nicole, and cousin Una (is cousin supposed to be capitalized?). We had a blast and kept very busy. In January, Stefano joined us as we traveled to Orlando, Ft. Lauderdale, Key West, DC, and Manhattan before returning to Tallinn at the end of the month. It took a while to recover and even longer to sort through and upload all the photos! But they’re finally up (see the December, January, February, and March sets): Photos of Massimo Eli.

Mo is still doing fantastic. He had some slight sniffles recently and a fever when his third tooth came in, but overall his health is really excellent. He still hasn’t received any vaccinations, and we’ve decided to hold off until he starts spending more time around other kids. Breastfeeding is still going strong with no end in sight, and Massimo also eats three solid meals a day (and I mean solid in both senses). His recent thing has been tasting food then spitting it out, which is great fun. And when he’s done eating, anything left on his tray is moved bit by bit onto his lap or the floor (depending on his mood). You can check out his BLW photo set to get a better idea. We took some hilarious photos just the other night and will upload them soon.

Like most babies his age (10 months now), Mo is crawling (fast!) and standing and walking (with assistance). There’s no telling when he’ll be walking for real. It could be in a few weeks or a few months. He has started feeding me recently. He gets a big kick out of that. He absolutely LOVES music and starts dancing and clapping and waving his arms whenever he hears it. This weekend we bought him a little potty and he’s been using it regularly already. Three times today. What else? Hmm. He also LOVES books. It’s nice to have a shared love, plus three books buy me an additional 30 minutes of semi-sleep each morning. He turns the pages and points at the things he sees and talks about them.

Time for bed for me, but I wanted to get you caught up quickly so we can resume our posts without too much hanging over our heads! More posts to come!

happy holidays